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| Nathan Takes the Eagle Oath |
May 1, 2015 was a pretty big day for the Miller household. After seven years of scouting, Nathan was awarded his Eagle Scout Award. I planned the ceremony from start to finish, and doing so took up most of my free time. When I wasn't putting together a slideshow, drafting the script, or coordinating the reception details, I was thinking...not just about the ceremony, but about so much more. I thought about my own Eagle ceremony some 32 years ago, and I marveled for the first time over all the planning and work taken on by my scoutmaster, mentor, and lifelong friend, Wade Cleveland. I now have a new appreciation, and awe, for what was given to me. I thought about the camping trips, the hikes, the outings. During that seven years, we'd been to a national jamboree in Virginia, had two scout trips to Washington DC, we hiked in the Florida Everglades, Yorktown and Manassas Battlefields, backpacked along Lake Moultrie, and climbed Table Rock. We'd spent three Summer Camps at Ho Non Wah, one at my old camp, Camp Old Indian, and two Winter Camps, one with icy temperatures in the teens. I remembered Nathan coming to my tent at 2:00 am. He stood outside quietly for a moment, but I sensed it was him. When I asked him what he needed, he hesitantly asked me if could come in because it was so cold. I cranked up a propane heater, and heard him say, "Thanks for bringing the heater," with a comfortable smile on his face right before he fell asleep. And then I thought about the achievement. Nathan was about to join the 4% of scouts who achieve the rank of Eagle.
Though I'm delighted at his achievement, I would've been just as proud of him if he'd never made it past Tenderfoot. When he was three or four years old, while other boys were playing with cars or nerf guns, Nathan was drawing ceiling fans on his chalk board. He was obsessed with them, their rotation, fan blades, everything about them. It was fascinating, but it made me wonder if he'd ever fit in. So naturally, when we first started scouts together, I had no idea of what he was capable of doing, and had lower than modest expectations.
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| Atop Table Rock |
I remember him climbing Table Rock. Not even 11 yet, he was near tears before I realized just how difficult it was for him. One of the things about his autism is that he doesn't always know how to express himself. He'll go hungry, be driven to exhaustion, endure pain without so much as a peep because of his affected ability to express himself...or complain. He must've been REALLY cold that night he came to my tent. I never pushed him, and I never even thought about him making Eagle. I was just pleased to see him having a good time, and I felt blessed to be able to be there for each outing, and each step.
One day, he and I were shark tooth hunting...one of our favorite hobbies, and he started to ask me about my Eagle Scout ceremony. He doesn't talk much, so when he does, I know it's something that's important to him. I told him stories of hiking with Wade and Danny to get my Hiking Merit Badge so that I wouldn't have to earn Swimming Merit Badge. He and I share a weakness with the water, but scouting has given us some basics that we desperately needed. I answered his questions, and then I asked him, "Are you interested in making Eagle Scout?" In a soft, shy voice he answered, "Yes. I think I am." I told him that the first real requirement for making Eagle was that one needed to want to make Eagle, and that his desire to do so was one of the biggest parts of it. I also told him that I would help him in every way possible, but that I would not do for him what he could for himself. Soon after that talk, he started to advance.
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| The boys give Nathan a helping hand |
I was amazed to watch him open up. The boys had grown accustomed to Nathan's idiosyncrasies, his echolalia (facial expressions that reveal his inner thoughts). They understand that he is wired differently, and they've helped him. It was so encouraging to see an age group so notorious for adolescent cruelty demonstrate such understanding, kindness and wisdom. The pinnacle of this happened at a meeting one Monday night. The boys were running for office, and giving a campaign speech to their peers on why they should be selected for a position. Nathan threw his hat in the ring to run for the troop's highest office as Senior Patrol Leader. I must admit, I thought he might be being a little over ambitious. I told him in private that it was great experience to run, but to not have any high expectations. I even coached him on how to congratulate the winner, and how impotant it is to lose with grace. When it came his turn to speak, I was moved to tears in the back of the room. I watched in amazement to see this quiet boy step up and with such a genuine, and eloquent speech. I knew before the ballots were cast that he would win, and the boys overwhelmingly elected him to the position.
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| Eagle Dad and Mentor Pin |
On the night of his Eagle award, he did it again. His remarks were genuine, and given in such a moving way that only he can deliver. I received two special pins (seen left). The one on the right says Eagle Dad, and that's a great pin to have, but the one on the left says Eagle Scout Mentor, and is given as a special honor by the Eagle Scout to the one he chooses. I will cherish them both. The memories are reward enough, but to have him honor me in such a way is moving beyond my ability to express.
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| Family and Friends with Nathan |
Many wonderful people attended the event. In addition to his Mom, sister and me, on hand was his grandmother, Elizabeth, and uncle Jimmy, his Papa, Bill Kaufman and his wife Nita visiting from Arkansas. My old scout buddy, Matt Calvert from Spartanburg, and our lifelong friends, the Caton family were also down from Spartanburg. The Easlers, Donna and David, and the Patricks provided the meal afterwards. Friends from the Single Smile came and sang and played music afterwards, and then there were the scouts and all the friends of Troop 750. It was like a graduation, but more than that. It was a celebration of the end of low expectations. Nathan had moved way beyond low to average, and into a place where anything is possible.
Last night was Nathan's last scout meeting as a boy scout since he'll be turning 18 on Thursday. We had cupcakes, and the troop sang Happy Birthday to honor the occasion. For the last seven years, Monday night has meant scout night, and every month we checked the calendar to see what camping trip, hike or outing we had coming up. I couldn't help but reflect a little on the end of a happy chapter as we drove home. As we pulled into the driveway, I said, "We had fun, didnt we?" And he said, "Yes, we did."
