Thoughts on Veterans Day 2020

Lackland Graduation

It's been 33 years since I stepped off the plane in San Antonio, and onto the bus heading for Lackland Air Force Base, and the most shocking night of my life up to that point. I was 20 years old, married just a little over a year and a half, and a fairly new Dad with a daughter who had not yet celebrated her first birthday. When we arrived and got off the bus, we were greeted by a couple of human pit bulls wearing campaign hats, and metal taps on the soles of their shoes. I can still hear those echoing taps as they circled and yelled, circled and yelled. That night, one of the pit bulls circled our dorm in the dark, tapping and yelling, as I tried to lay still and invisible as possible. I wondered to myself, "what have I gotten myself into?"

The Air Force seemed like an escape from the trap I found myself in. I'd jumped into adulthood so early in my life, and was starting to realize that my early decisions came with barriers attached. I pondered the things I would not be able to do. I thought, "well, I guess college is out of the question now." I could see myself living paycheck to paycheck for the rest of my life, and I wanted more for my family. I had high hopes that the Air Force would provide a way.

After basic training, it started to feel like I made the right decision. I was sent to Goodfellow Air Force Base in San Angelo, Texas, and began my technical training to become an Imagery Interpreter. The job fell under the umbrella of Air Force Intelligence, and was unlike anything I'd ever done before. I fell right into the career field, and loved the tedious nature of it. I know that might sound odd, but I've always been drawn to tedious, and solitary pursuits. Now you might be able to better understand just how it is that I have found literally thousands of shark teeth fossils, and learned, and forgotten, hundreds of songs on guitar. 

May 1993 - University of Nebraska at Omaha

After graduation, we moved to a town just South of Omaha, Nebraska, and I started my Air Force career in earnest as an Airman First Class at the Headquarters for Strategic Air Command, Offutt Air Force Base. Seasons came and went, our second child, Marcus, was born, and I started taking night classes at the University of Nebraska at Omaha. They held classes on base, so I would often go to the bowling alley after work, grab a coffee and some mentos, or a bran muffin, and study until time for the three hour class to start.  Five years of long days, and occasional little interruptions like Operation Desert Storm, and I found myself standing in line to receive my diploma.

OTS Graduation - Sep 1995

We spent six years at Offutt before I was selected as an instructor in the very same course I'd graduated from just six years before back in San Angelo. A year and a half later, and I was on my way to Montgomery, Alabama, as an officer candidate. Suddenly, I  found myself with nerves on end just like I'd felt eight years earlier. 90 days later, and I drove out of the base gate wearing the gold bars of a second lieutenant. Where to now? Well, back to San Angelo of course. I stayed in the Intelligence career field, and attended a six month officer intel course. After that, I was asked to stay on as an instructor in the very same course. It was during this time that our third child, Nathan, was born, and I found my first professional weekend gig as a guitar player at the Cactus Cafe. I was paid with a delicious sandwich of my choice, and my audiences sometimes included students from my classes.

I made first lieutenant and was selected as the Chief of Targets for the JSTARS aircraft at Robins Air Force Base near Macon, Georgia. These were some of the most trying days of our lives. We were beginning to understand the depth of the challenges of our son's, Marcus's, autism. He would not sleep, so neither did we. The move had been so stressful for him, and he just couldn't handle it...neither could we. I asked if there was a way for the Air Force to move us closer to family in the hopes that we might get some help. A process was started, and in time we were able to move to Charleston. 

My three years at Charleston saw me attain the rank of Captain, and deploy to Europe in support of Operation Enduring Freedom after 911. After that, I managed to stay in Charleston by becoming an Assistant Professor of Aerospace Studies at The Citadel, During my time at The Citadel, I was selected to the rank of Major, and enjoyed four years in what I consider easily my favorite assignment of my Air Force career.

Promotion to Major  at the Citadel

My last assignment found me as the Director of Intelligence for the Air Force District of Washington in D.C. What an amazing position, and assignment for someone wanting the next promotion, or to get a foot in the door of the Washington Intelligence Community. As part of my job, I attended multi agency meetings and working groups at the Pentagon, the National Counter Terrorism Center, and various other locations in the D.C. area, and that afforded me access to some areas and information I'd never knew existed, or ever thought I'd see. The two star General I worked for even told me in so many words what an opportunity it offered...but not for me. I'd left my family in the Charleston area due to Marcus's inability to handle moving again. As soon as I met my 20 year requirement for retirement, I petitioned that same General to help me retire, so I could get back to my family in South Carolina. He came through for me, and my old team at The Citadel put on a nice retirement ceremony in the beautiful Summerall Chapel.

It's been 13 years now since I last wore the uniform of an active duty military man, and I find that I very seldom speak of my military career. When folks thank me for my service, I fight a little feeling of embarrassment. I always say that I received far more than I ever had to give, and I joke that discount Riverdogs Baseball tickets is all I ask. Truthfully, I did give a lot of myself to the role. I call it a role, because it never came naturally to me, and I always felt exhausted after playing the role for extended periods. I always knew that I was a musician at heart, and not really a military man. I often thought of, and identified closely with,  the line from Dan Folgeberg's "Leader of the Band," where he described his father as, "a quiet man of music, denied a simpler fate; he tried to be a soldier once, but his music wouldn't wait."

End of a Career - 2007

Well, my music would wait...for 20 years, and I do count the cost of that, but what a small price to pay when I reflect on the honor of serving the same nation bought with the blood and treasure of giants. I'll never measure up in my mind to those giants, but I suppose I did the best a musician could do playing such a role so foreign to my own nature for so long. I gave a speech at a graduation ceremony once, and I had in hand a Farmer's Almanac from 1800. I peeled open the fragile pages and read General Henry Lee's Eulogy from George Washington's funeral held just one month prior to the printing of those pages.  He referred to Washington as, "our Bulwark in War," and referred to his heroic service at Valley Forge, and the daring icy crossing of the Potomac. The reverence that defined his oration moved me, and made even taller the legend of the man in my mind. Some evenings during that last year of my career. I'd leave work, and I could see the lights illuminating the capitol dome in the distance across the Potomac as I made my way across the parking lot, and I'd think back on that speech and on his words. Not only was I serving in the city that bore his name, but I was serving the very same nation that he, and so many patriots whose white stones flow for acres just a few miles away, toiled to establish. When I think on such things, I feel unworthy. The only suitable response, for my part anyway, to the words, "thank you for your service," is that it was an indescribable honor to serve."

In My Life - Blessings So Far

It's been a long time since my last post! Social media seems to have supplanted this journal, but every now and again a thought comes to mind that just doesn't fit the format of Facebook, but begs to be expressed none the less. This will be a lengthy blog post I'm sure, so I don't blame you if you just keep scrolling. That said, I spent a little time in my music room this morning just reflecting on a lifetime of blessings. Life isn't exclusively about blessing, I know...there is pain, failure, loss and heartbreak of all kinds, but those realities were not the focus of my reflection this morning. Instead, I recalled one by one moments that almost sound like the makings of another's life, but by the grace of God were allowed to me. Everyone has their own life story, and I'm sure so many moments in the lives of you reading this now might make these moments appear small indeed by comparison, but for my part, I'm filled with gratitude for the large and small portions that have blessed my life up to this point. If this blog inspires you to take a moment to reflect back on the blessings of your own life, then it will have served a greater purpose than just inspiring my own personal gratitude.

I was born in 1966 in Greenville County, to a loving,

Saxon Mill Hill in Spartanburg, SC - early '70s

but extremely poor family. My first memories are from a small, four-room house at the bottom of a textile mill hill just feet from the railroad tracks. The train would shake the house as it passed by. I shared a room with my two older brothers, and we heated the house with kerosene, and coal if I remember correctly. I remember making mud pies on the porch while Mom hung the clothes on the line. We had a dog named Bingo, and a doghouse for him made from a plywood church pulpit on the front porch. The memories from this time, all before the age of six, are warm, but very simple. I played with a broom pretending it to be a guitar until the day Dad brought home a small guitar from the J.M. Fields Department Store. I didn't know how poor we were then, but by today's standards, we had less then than anyone I now know. Mom and Dad had dropped out of high school, and had met while working in the textile mill together. The age of the mills was coming to a close, as was the age of any opportunity that could be seen at that time.

Scouting Days

Growing up, I had church, music, Boy Scouts and some sports. Dad found his vocation as a pest

control man, and I had a few adventures that stand out in my mind. The funny thing is that it is the absence of adventure that fuels the wonder and gratitude of the life that I look back on now.

The following is just a stream of consciousness that resembles my morning reflection. It does contain some accomplishments, but is not meant as a boast of any kind. I see any accomplishments I managed to obtain over time as little different from the random blessings that God has always orchestrated just right outside of my peripheral vision. So as I list these things, please know the memories inspire gratitude rather than pride.

What have I been afforded since the barefoot memories from that four-room house by the railroad tracks? I'll start with my greatest gift aside from my own eternal salvation...my family. I married my high school sweetheart nearly 35 years ago, and I've been given a daughter and two sons. The blessings that come from this gift alone eclipse everything that follows, but they were there for most of this. What's more? Well to just pick a random point in time, I'll start with the time I camped in the

Hiking in the Everglades

Canadian Rockies for two weeks. I've seen the sunset over the Grand Canyon, and felt the cool Autumn mist from the Falls at Niagra at night. I've marched before dawn to the calls of a drill Sergeant in San Antonio, TX, and have called out commands of my own directing fellow officer candidates in Montgomery, AL. I've hiked 20 miles in a day through the Everglades, and have been lost, and found in the mountains of North Carolina. I've eaten a bison burger at Wall Drug in South Dakota, and have been to the grave of Wild Bill in Deadwood. I graduated with a degree in Geography from the University of Nebraska at Omaha, and earned a commission as an Air Force second lieutenant. I served during Desert Storm and Enduring Freedom. I deployed 12 days after September 11th to Sicily, and saw the sun rise over Mt Etna. I've walked across lava fields still simmering with heat, and wandered

Mt Etna - Sicily

through ancient Roman ruins on the cliffs by the Mediterranean Sea. I've climbed stairways of castles and cathedrals all across Europe, and watched a late night guitar and traditional Spanish dance performance in Seville, Spain. As a treasure hunter, I've found literally  thousands of fossils; some museum quality. I've found hundreds of colonial artifacts near Charleston, SC, a metal artifact on a Civil War battlefield in Manassas, VA, ancient brick fragments from the Mediterranean, and a WWII artifact on a battlefield in France. I've driven through Germany's Black Forest in the Fall, and seen distant glaciers in the Swiss Alps in the Springtime. I've ridden a train from London to Edinburgh watching the English pastures, sheep, Scottish gorse in bloom with its brilliant golden hue while catching glimpses of the North Sea. I've played my guitar at sunrise by the Forth of Firth at the Port of Leith in Scotland, and

Scottish Highlands

I've watched the Alps majestically pass by from a bus window in South Tirol in Northern Italy. I've walked barefoot across the famous crossing at Abbey Road, and have attended a concert at Trafalgar Square. I've flown from Charleston, SC, to California and back again all in less than a 24 hour period, and I've flown first class from New York to London. I spent four years working as an Assistant Professor of Aerospace Studies at The Citadel, and served as the Director of Intelligence for the Air Force District of Washington in DC. I retired from the Air Force after 20 years in the rank of Major, but not before living close enough to Mt Vernon to ride my bike there for an afternoon outing. I attended a book release for a friend at the Library of Congress, and spent days walking battlefields at Yorktown, Gettysburg, and Antietam where my 3rd great grandfather was killed in the Civil War. I've camped near the canyons at Big Bend, TX, and walked through Central Park in 18 degree weather. I saw the two towers of the World Trade Center a year before they fell. I've spent an exhausting,

NYC - 2000

sleepless night in JFK airport, and although it was not, in and of itself, a blessing, it did lead one of the blessings listed above. I've met my heroes. I've had a late night dinner at Cracker Barrel with, and  been invited onstage by Doyle Dykes, and I've shook the hands of James Taylor and Bill Murray. I've had lunch with guitar great, John Knowles, and I've had a few laughs off stage with guitar legend, Tommy Emmanuel. I've recorded with multiple Dove Award winner, Phil Keaggy, Nashville Bassist of the Year, Dave Pomeroy, and fiddle/mandolin all star, Andy Leftwich, of Ricky Skaggs Kentucky Thunder fame. One night at the Country Music Hall of Fame, I had the opportunity to eat cookies and drink punch with Duane Eddy, Bob Taylor of Taylor Guitars, and Ricky Skaggs. I've seen three presidents in person...George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, and Jimmy Carter. I saluted President Carter at a pass and review parade in Montgomery, Alabama. I've been to the graves of Hank Williams, and Elvis Presley, and to the childhood school room of William

William Shakespeare's School House

Shakespeare in Stratford upon Avon. I've been to the Black Gate in Trier, Germany, and to the childhood home of John Wayne in Wintersett, Iowa. I stood in a line with the Attorney General, Alberto Gonzales, and behind the President's press secretary, Tony Snow, at a Starbucks in Alexandria, Virginia. I was the lead intel officer for the Air Force's ceremonial proceedings during President Ford's funeral. I landed in the cockpit of a C-17 alongside my son in Ramstein, Germany. I've driven the famed Romantic Strasse from Austria to Rothenburg, and stared up in amazement at the ceiling of the Pilgrimage church in Weis. I've met classical viruoso, Christopher Parkening, and saw Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Kris Kristofferson, and Willie Nelson at Farm Aid in Ames, Iowa. I've looked for Nessie from the banks of Loch Ness, walked through bows made from elk antlers in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, saw rain fall in the Sonoran desert, cliff dwellings near Sedona, and swatted brine flies at the Great Salt Lake. I've seen the faces of presidents on Mount Rushmore, the face of Crazy Horse at twilight carved into a mountain side in Wyoming, and I've seen the snow slowly fall in late fall in Toronto, Canada. I've crossed the Rio Grande in a boat, hiked to a Mexican village, and had lunch in

At Hadrians Wall

a local's house, and I saw a bear in the Smoky Mountains. I won enough in a lotto in Windsor, Canada, to buy a nice guitar, and I met Eugene Shoemaker, who discovered the Shoemaker Levy Comet that crashed into Jupiter. I've climbed bluffs along Hadrians Wall, and climbed the ancient stone steps at the Greek amphitheater in Syracuse. I've seen Gordon Lightfoot, Ringo Starr, and peeked through a fence at the fair to see Ricky Nelson. I've met some of the very best musicians that define, and redefine, their instruments to include Alison Krauss, Chris Thile, Bela Fleck and Jake Shimabukuro, and I've played guitars that belonged to Chet Atkins and Lenny Breau. I met James Burton and Joe Bonamassa in Nashville on the same night, and once ran into Sam Bush at a mall. I've seen the statue of William Wallace in the highlands, explored the Spanish caves in Aracena, and attended a concert at Westminister Abbey. I've been to the meteor crater in Arizona, the Cathedral at Cologne, and the U.S. Memorial in Bastongne, Belgium. Senator Lindsey Graham took my picture with a Medal of Honor recipient, and I met Congressman Alan West and Sen Tim Scott in the US capitol building. I've had key lime pie in Key West, ridden across Lake Pontchartrain, heard live blues in Memphis, lived in six states, and have visited too many others to count for the purposes of this blog.

All of this, and so much more...all of the friends, and family who have been there the whole time. All of the music, backyard gardening, scouting adventures, family vacations to Disney World and beyond, and the list could simply go on and on and on. All of the prayers, church services, and alone times spent with God. I hope that God grants many, many more days, and years, to come, but I'm so grateful for all that I've already been given. Hopefully, I'll be able to visit this little list of blessings, and report that the best was yet to come. I'm a believer in my Redeemer, and in the eternity, and heaven that He has prepared for me, so I'm certain that the list will never end.

Until next time, count your blessings, and give thanks, for I'm convinced that is the will of God.